Get Paid Because Iowa State Sucks

Hello friends, Hawk Fans, Cyclone Haters, and anyone who has ever contemplated stealing chemical weapons to release them on Ames,

I have been inspired by a friend of mine, who has decided to profit off the Pittsburgh Pirates with a simple betting strategy: bet against them at every chance. You can read about his exploits at http://betagainstthepirates.com/. I will be doing something similar by betting against Iowa State whenever I possibly can, and will keep everyone updated on the results of this here. As of today there isn't a moneyline or spread for the North Dakota State game, which probably means that the sportsbooks don't believe 11 people in Ames know how to put on a football uniform and ISU will end up forfitting the game. I look forward to spending my winnings from their football mediocrity on my trip to whatever bowl game Iowa ends up going to this year. I will be sure to bring home lots of memories so Cylcone fans can remember the glory days when they got to go to Wyoming for the postseason. I would say ISU will make a bowl game again when hell freezes over, but that is simply a terrible expression. It gets below freezing in Ames every winter, so I'm not really sure where that comes from. Let's just say it's not going to happen.

As a corollary to Iowa State sucking, I have a theory that Minnesota sucks too. Their crappy state provides a lot of students for whatever animal doctoring bullshit, wish they were cool enough to go to Iowa and be a real doctor things they do in Ames. This must only be because the University of Minnesota sucks too, and a similar plan is in the works for betting against the Golden Gophers. Hopefully that turns into lots of gold for me.



Results to follow, LET'S GO HAWKS!