Long Time, No suck

With my offshore European betting connections drying up, and the Cyclones winning games, my betting is over. With Iowa, #4 in the BCS, 9-0, I can't focus too much on hating. Ended up a little bit of money, but with ludicrous lines with Iowa being underdogs vs Wisconsin and Michigan State a bowl trip is still in the works. As much as it pains me, I am now forced to cheer for Iowa State to win games. The computer polls take into account win-loss records of opponents, and a road win over 7-5 ISU looks much better than a road win over a 5-7 team. I'm also cheering for Arizona to win the Pac-10, for multiple reasons. First, Arizona beating Oregon and USC to close out the season makes Iowa's victory over them much stronger and helps our case to make the national championship game. Second, in the case that Iowa finishes undefeated and doesn't make the national championship, I think we have a much better chance of beating Arizona again than USC or Oregon. Third, although the Rose Bowl has Big 10/Pac 10 Tie-ins, they are less absolute than in the past, and an Iowa-Cincinnati, Iowa-TCU, or Iowa-Boise State battle of undefeateds gives Iowa a better case for a split championship with the winner of the Florida/Alabama vs Texas game. A second battle of unbeatens in the BCS would be a huge catalyst for changing the system more towards a playoff, and would speak strongly for the need for one more game.

my world is upside down

ISU covered again this week. I'm so confused. They start off Big 12 play vs Kansas State this week, and hopefully get back to their losing ways.

http://sports.espn.go.com/ncf/news/story?id=4519102

Idiots who injure their own teammates in practice can't keep winning for too long, can they?

Also, Iowa is 4-0 and #13 SHIP HAWKS!

Army +9.5

55 to win 50 on Army +9.5. Time for their true suckiness to come forward.

Small Setback, Still Set for Success

Iowa State managed to win last week, putting our season total to:

Total Bet: 265
Net Won: 150
ROI: 56.6%

In other news, Iowa won again taking their streak to 7 games in a row. With losses by other teams this week, that puts Iowa in the top 5 longest active win streaks. The opening line for Iowa @ Penn State is Iowa +10, hopefully it's upset time again. On a sad note, the kick and slide from last years Greene-Out glory has been removed from youtube due to copyright disputes. Lame.

New Week, New Bet

Iowa State hasn't won on the road since 2005. 17 game road losing streak looks to become 18 this week vs the Golden Flashes. I passed on taking the 3 points and took Kent outright, $50 at +135 to win.

Ship the Money Part One

"Even if Iowa doesn't manage to play better, it won't matter because Iowa State simply does not know how to win football games."

I wrote that on Monday, and it certainly showed up in Iowa's 35-3 victory today. Iowa State committed 9 penalties for 79 yards and gave up 6 turnovers. It is nearly impossible to win a game when you give the ball to the other team without a kick 6 times, especially when your offense can't score touchdowns. It has now been 14 quarters, 3 and 1/2 games, since the Cyclones have scored a touchdown against Iowa. Congratulations, you suck. Austin Arnaud is not good at quarterback, and you are well on your way to another 10 loss season. I was going to put in a pretty graph, but you can imagine what a 45 degree line going up looks like.

Results so far this season:
Amount bet $215
Amount Won $200
ROI 93%

Next week, Iowa State plays @ Kent State and we can continue printing money.

LOL Nice Offense

Just a friendly reminder, in the last 10 quarters of football Iowa State has played vs Iowa, they have scored a grand total of ZERO touchdowns. I'm sorry guys, but field goals just aren't going to cut it this week vs the Moeaki machine. 2 years ago ISU managed to scrape by on 5 FGs to win 15-13, but Iowa's offense this year is much more potent and will make every single one of those fuckers cry when we win 24-6.

Additional fun from Iowa entering VS UNI:

More action against the worst team in FBS

Just put an additional 110 on Iowa -6.5 to win 100. Brings the total anti-clone action this week to $215 worth of bets to win $200. In terms of getting to spend this money, that turns into a round trip ticket to Orlando for the Capital One Bowl on Allegiant Airlines. GO HAWKS!

Iowa VS Iowa State

Iowa did not look pretty against Northern Iowa. Yards after contact weren't there for us on offense, and our defensive line had a hard time pressuring the UNI quarterback. There is a big difference, however, between looking bad vs a FCS team who made the semi-finals last year and a FCS team who struggled to have a winning record. In a battle of disappointing first weeks, Iowa State looked even more lackluster vs NDSU. Don't be too quick to forget the last time UNI played one of the big boys. Iowa State loses to UNI in 2007. Even if Iowa doesn't manage to play better, it won't matter becaue Iowa State simply does not know how to win football games. Without further adieu, I roll out the first bet of my anti-Iowa State free money spectacular: $105 to win $100 on Iowa -7. The line has since moved to -6.5 and I will probably be adding to this bet. Those one game a season bitches be damned, Iowa will crush their souls.

Too Much Smoke

Well done, Iowa State, your entrance onto the field was just as big of a disaster as your performance on the field. If you are wondering, that's 2008 coach Gene Chizik who escaped to Auburn after going 2-10. I particularly enjoy when number 83 smashes into the goal post. In contrast, here's what a team entering is supposed to look like. Iowa does the swarm, coming on to the field in the tradition of Hayden Fry with hands held to show team togetherness. Only 4 more days until football Saturday and I am excited.

Cyclones on TV!

Last night I heard something that was great news for Iowa State fans, their game against NDSU is going to be televised! To an Iowa fan, or really a fan of any school that has a real football team, this may not seem like a big deal, because every game is televised when your school is important. While the Mediacom Connections Channel may not have the prestige of ABC nationwide coverage, or even of ESPN or the Big Ten Network, it does have one thing going for it, you trick old people who wanted to watch infomercials but can't stand up to change the channel and lost the remote into watching you. Though most likely the MCC is only broadcasting it to give their camera crew practice for the Valley - Dowling game the next night, it is a nice bonus for ISU. I'm fairly certain the 9k people inattendence at the high school game the next night will be more than the number who accidentally wonder into Jack Trice, so it's nice that MCC still gives the game of the week title to Friday Night's Matchup. There is still no betting option availible for Thursday night's game, so I may not get to make any money until Iowa crushes their hopes and dreams next week.

America's Pastime

Baseball has long been considered America's pastime, and in their effort to be this shittiest school in history, Iowa State quit having a baseball team in 2001. Frankly, it angers me that of the Big 4 sports, Iowa only gets to win at 3 of them because the cowards who, with a business school on par with AIB, couldn't figure out how to pay for a baseball team. This leaves Iowa's record last year at 3-0 with one no contest. Football, basketball, and wrestling count here. Maybe if we all moved to Canada hockey could count, but who are you kidding this is Iowa and wrestling matters. Well done, ISU for not having a baseball team, reaching new heights of idiocy and incompetance.

Salute to Rashawn Parker

Rashawn Parker is probably the best player on Iowa State's team. No Cyclones managed to make First or Second Team all Big 12 last year, but D-Lineman Rayshawn Parker did manage to be an honorable mention. I credit whatever success he has to whatever extra Hawkeye energy was placed in him by Marshal Yanda back when he was a freshman. Unfortunately for Parker, I took Spanish with Rafael Eubanks awhile back, and seeing how good our offensive line is this year, I feel another conmoción cerebral coming on. It must be terrible to have this braindead fool be your best player.

Don't remember the hit? Well here it is: http://www.vidilife.com/video_play_832243_Marshal_Yanda_s_Huge_Hit.htm

Youtube has a version with music that sort of ruins it for me. When watching it with the ESPN announcers I really enjoy hearing the reaction of the fans at Kinnick to the replays being shown on the big scoreboard TV. What's Yanda up to these days you may wonder? Still kicking ass and starting at Right Guard for the Baltimore Ravens.

Get Paid Because Iowa State Sucks

Hello friends, Hawk Fans, Cyclone Haters, and anyone who has ever contemplated stealing chemical weapons to release them on Ames,

I have been inspired by a friend of mine, who has decided to profit off the Pittsburgh Pirates with a simple betting strategy: bet against them at every chance. You can read about his exploits at http://betagainstthepirates.com/. I will be doing something similar by betting against Iowa State whenever I possibly can, and will keep everyone updated on the results of this here. As of today there isn't a moneyline or spread for the North Dakota State game, which probably means that the sportsbooks don't believe 11 people in Ames know how to put on a football uniform and ISU will end up forfitting the game. I look forward to spending my winnings from their football mediocrity on my trip to whatever bowl game Iowa ends up going to this year. I will be sure to bring home lots of memories so Cylcone fans can remember the glory days when they got to go to Wyoming for the postseason. I would say ISU will make a bowl game again when hell freezes over, but that is simply a terrible expression. It gets below freezing in Ames every winter, so I'm not really sure where that comes from. Let's just say it's not going to happen.

As a corollary to Iowa State sucking, I have a theory that Minnesota sucks too. Their crappy state provides a lot of students for whatever animal doctoring bullshit, wish they were cool enough to go to Iowa and be a real doctor things they do in Ames. This must only be because the University of Minnesota sucks too, and a similar plan is in the works for betting against the Golden Gophers. Hopefully that turns into lots of gold for me.



Results to follow, LET'S GO HAWKS!